Jesus' blood never failed me yet
Never failed me yet
Jesus' blood never failed me yet
This one thing I know
For He loves me so

Post or Paper? Post.

I'm so terrible at schoolwork. I have a five page paper that was due Monday...and I'm only on the third page. It's due in fifty minutes. It probably won't be finished, but I'll probably still turn it in.

I sometimes want to just drop out and move to Chicago now, but I know I shouldn't.
Curse my vague sense of responsibility.

Macbook Macbook Macbook

I got a Macbook on Friday. It's changing my life already.
It's so nice to be able to record whenever I dang well feel like it, and not have to mess around with downloading a new driver every time I want to record.

I don't want to do school this week. I just want to do music. I want to write and record and get ready for tour.
Meh.

I need to be more vigilant toward holiness. It seems lately that I'm just as content being profane* than I am being sacred. I really need to work on that.

While appeasing Hannahbeth by blogging, I think it'd be a good time to tell you that I miss you. We need to hang out sometime. For realsies.
And for anyone else reading this, same goes for you.


*2. not devoted to holy or religious purposes; unconsecrated; secular

(sigh)

Nick, I miss you.

On Pain

Be not afraid of love
or of pain
or even of yourself

For what is pain but the breaking of the
shell around your heart that makes it leak out?
And what is love but
the leaking out of your heart into another?

And how can your heart leak into another
if it leaks not into itself?

From 'The Prophet' by Kahlil Gibron

Then a priestess said, "Speak to us of Prayer."

And he answered, saying:

You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might pray also in the fullness of your joy and in your days of abundance.

For what is prayer but the expansion of yourself into the living ether?

And if it is for your comfort to pour your darkness into space, it is also for your delight to pour forth the dawning of your heart.

And if you cannot but weep when your soul summons you to prayer, she should spur you again and yet again, though weeping, until you shall come laughing.

When you pray you rise to meet in the air those who are praying at that very hour, and whom save in prayer you may not meet.

Therefore let your visit to that temple invisible be for naught but ecstasy and sweet communion.

For if you should enter the temple for no other purpose than asking you shall not receive.

And if you should enter into it to humble yourself you shall not be lifted:

Or even if you should enter into it to beg for the good of others you shall not be heard.

It is enough that you enter the temple invisible.

I cannot teach you how to pray in words.

God listens not to your words save when He Himself utters them through your lips.

And I cannot teach you the prayer of the seas and the forests and the mountains.

But you who are born of the mountains and the forests and the seas can find their prayer in your heart,

And if you but listen in the stillness of the night you shall hear them saying in silence,

"Our God, who art our winged self, it is thy will in us that willeth.

It is thy desire in us that desireth.

It is thy urge in us that would turn our nights, which are thine, into days which are thine also.

We cannot ask thee for aught, for thou knowest our needs before they are born in us:

Thou art our need; and in giving us more of thyself thou givest us all."

Hannahbeth says I should blog more.

Hannahbeth is not my mother.

Fifty Degrees in February

I'm slowly learning to love myself. I haven't, however, been very gentle towards friends of mine that are having a hard time loving themselves. It's not that I think that they're stupid for that, I just get so angry at the lies they believe. I wish there was a way to get angry at the lies while not seeming angry at them.