Haiti

I always feel terribly uncomfortable when catastrophe strikes parts of the world that I have no connection to. I've always feared that this is because I didn't want to interrupt my usual schedule to grieve for those affected. But after letting that initial resistance wear off, I just read a couple articles about the earthquake in Port-au-Prince--one was the Associated Press overview on the Yahoo! website, and the other was a blog post by someone who knows an American couple who run an orphanage in the capital. The orphanage has collapsed and the couple and the children are now living in the yard next to the ruins. She made pleas for people to contact the Senate to get the children to the United States, where they can be adopted and have clean water, which no one in Port-au-Prince has now.

And I think I realize, I don't feel uncomfortable because I don't want to be bothered. I feel uncomfortable because I feel so damned powerless to do anything about it. And I really don't like that feeling.

Twenty Ten

Post-holiday stress levels seem so low in comparison with the holidays themselves. Michelle and I did an awful lot of traveling--to west Michigan the week before Christmas to visit her extended family, and to east Michigan a couple days after to visit mine. They all like her more than they like me. I don't mind. I like her more than I like me too.

Barnes and Noble has been nice enough to give me two weeks off. That is to say, I am at the bottom of the totem poll and everyone before are getting all the hours before I am. Not that I mind too much. It's giving me time to look for a new job. I had breakfast with one of the associate pastors at Vineyard about an internship there. It wouldn't pay much more than gas, but it would give a lot of opportunity to serve, which is what everyone I know who's worked in ministry told me to do. I still have the substitute application that I've been holding onto, and now that Christmas break is over, school's back in. There are also a few children's homes that I'll be sending applications to. And I'll probably send Woodwind and Brasswind my resume.

I picked up the new Flaming Lips record today (Embryonic). It's so bleeding fantastic. It's one of those records that make me want to grab a bass guitar and a drum machine and throw something onto tape.
Other records I've been enjoying a lot lately:
Portishead - Third
Grizzly Bear - Vecktimest
Deerhunter - Cryptograms
The Beach Boys - Pet Sounds (allegedly the greatest pop album ever recorded. I started listening to it while driving, and instead of going home, I sat in the McDonald's parking lot and let it play through. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant)

I recorded a little instrumental track for the next album (this one isn't done yet though) and put it on my myspace. It's called 'o be still be still be still.' It's a little more experimental than some other things I've done. The rest of the album will be similar in that way.

Michelle made me a paper chain to count down to the wedding. On the inside of each ring, she wrote a memory, something she loves about me, or a prayer for us. I greatly appreciate and enjoy that woman.

Thank You, Lord, for Your blessings.