I have an absolutely beautiful girlfriend who loves me. Unfortunately, I am incredibly good at disbelieving that. It's not surprising--I'm not used to reciprocated attraction and I have a hard time keeping myself from thinking that God won't take everything I want away. Because of this, Michelle has felt like a ghost or a phantom or a memory of some future event because my mind has been entirely unable to accept that this is really happening.
The past few nights, we've been trying to figure out what exactly it might be that is keeping me from accepting this. We walked down to the river and talked for a long time. We both cried. It was good.
Tonight, she was no longer a ghost. She was real to me.
I'm not expecting the problem to just go away, but it's a start. And it's a good start.
I'm thinking about changing my band name. 'Nathaniel FitzGerald vs. the Industrial Revolution' is a bit cumbersome. And I've always had a hard time saying 'FitzGerald,' believe it or not. It's just hard to say for me. I'm thinking either The Automatic Pilot or The Human Autopilot.
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1 comment:
I like the cumbersome name, but if you do decide to change it....
I will deal.
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