Doubts and Answers

I've been very worried lately. I took a walk around town last night and just watched listened--someone was playing saxophone inside of their apartment with a window open, an incredibly talented latino band was playing in a yard filling the street with guitar solos, a child hung from a tree branch and told an older girl, 'help! I can't hold on!' and so much more--but I was still crushed by the tension between the present and the future and the crushing fact that I'm living in the city without a steady income, feeling like I'm just taking up an apartment. And I walked through town listening to all of the life going on around me, so crushed by my worries that I had to start singing a simple chorus to myself to keep from being completely discouraged:
'Jesus blood never failed me yet
never failed me yet
Jesus blood never failed me yet.
This one thing I know,
for He loves me so'

I got back to my apartment and checked my email. I got an email from a tutoring company called Brain Hurricane that I had applied for online saying that I seemed like a good fit. Now, I had to schedule an 'audition' (basically an informational meeting and an interview). There happened to be three separate audition times the next day (that's today). I signed up for the one at noon.
Laying down to sleep, I just broke. 'Daddy, I'm scared,' I said (I can't remember the last time I called God that). 'Remember when you guys were looking for an apartment, and the most promising one didn't work, and you told Kriss that you knew I had an apartment waiting?'
Well, yeah...

'Don't you think I'd have a job waiting for you too?'

And then, I just started laughing.
I'm learning to trust, ever so slowly.

p.s. the interview went very well. Now I just have to wait for them to get back to me.