A Statuette

Today marks the official start of the Bethel academic year. I still owe Bethel a couple suitcases filled with hundred dollar bills. I'm not worried about it.

I love my house. I'm very looking forward to living with such an incredible group of men.

There's a kind of emptiness or something inside of me. Despite my thought that I'd already made up my mind before receiving my answer, I continue to wait for that answer, and staying in a state of indecision. It's so incredibly back and forth. I go from knowing the answer one day to being sure of nothing the next. This sort of paralysis has come over me where I can't move because I don't know which way to go, and I so desperately want to avoid making a wrong decision. I asked myself earlier, 'why not err on the side of caution?'

But I've never been one to do that.

I need to be confident. But when I am confident, I fear that I'm too rash. Maybe I am.

A good friend, Greg Neumayer, had some very wise words for me last night. I want to say I got my answer through his wisdom...but I'm always reluctant to receive from God the answer that I wanted to hear.

I hate waiting. That is a fact.

And that's why I have to, I wager.