Alive and Full of Life

Since Wednesday, there has been a much needed change in me. Not necessarily in things I'm doing or spending my time with...just with things that have been weighing on my heart and bringing my mind with it. But I talked about that in the last post.

I told someone of the decision I made, and how glad I was with it, and she said, 'tell me that again in a week.' Well, it's only been half a week, but I could surely tell her the same thing today.

It's such a strange place for me to be...I still don't understand why things happened the way they did, and why they couldn't have happened any differently, but I've finally reached the point where I'm at peace with not knowing. Also, I've found out that even though they seem the same, there is a complete difference between giving up and letting go. Giving up is done out of hopelessness because nothing can change. Letting go is done out of hope that things will change. I'm eternally grateful that I finally crossed that threshold.

A friend of mine came to me today rejoicing in her baptism this evening. Then, she revealed a secret to me that gave her incredible shame. I wished I could have just sat with her and held her hand and cried, but instead I could only assure her that Christ took our shame with our sin, and that even this will be used for His glory.
She said she wanted to be used for His glory. I told her that was the first step.

It's so incredible how the Lord can take the ugliest, dirtiest, most vile parts of us and use them to aiding others as they seek to be reconciled to Him through Christ. It's amazing how He can take the most misguided of plans and take them and somehow make the times of desperation great times of growth.
I'm in awe just thinking about it.
I've been reading through Acts lately. Every time it mentions Peter, I make a note that says, "foot in mouth Peter." Every time it mentions the apostles, I make a note that says, "same retarded disciples." And then this foot in mouth Peter and these same retarded disciples go throughout Israel preaching the Gospel of Christ and casting out demons and healing sicknesses and even raising people from the dead.

I can't even imagine.