The Emptiness

There's a strange emptiness in my body every time I get away by myself lately. I'm never sure what it is. It's not exactly a discontent, and it's not exactly a longing. There's just something missing that was there before. I think that it might be that the darkness that has been occupying my life for so long is finally lifting, and this is what freedom feels like. It's not a bad emptiness--it's just strange.

There's a lot of strangeness in my life lately. And not all of it is bad. Not at all. And I'm getting used to it.

I went through some old posts a couple days ago. It was so strange to look back on the things I was thinking and feeling during the days I look back upon as the days of my goodness and strength and see how much I've grown since then--because I have grown. I have come to see God in the ordinary and plain things. I have come to find His thumbprint in my own autonomy. I have found His image in those around me, and I'm learning the grace of judging others exclusively by the best parts of them.

I also used to write much longer blogs. They're a little shorter now.