There's always this great nervous in my spirit every time I approach the verge of something huge in my life, like the emo Peter Pan crisis I had while packing up for college for the first time. And here I am, five and a half days away from my departure for Utica, Michigan to embark on a brave new adventure that is my internship under Reverend Tim Patch at Redeemer Missionary Church--and I haven't started packing.

At all.

I think a lot of it is just compensation for my nervousness. I don't want to be as nervous as I am, so I keep telling myself that it's still far away. That way, I might have some time to prepare myself.

'Nathaniel--five days,' I tell myself.

(sigh)

I almost can't believe it's actually happening. I was reading the email with the final details today, and I was imagining what it might be like, and I heard this voice say,
'There's time to turn back.'

Only...there isn't. I mean in all actuality, I can physically not leave and just keep working maintenance. But at what cost? Whatever I'm going to find up there, Jesus has been preparing it for me for an awfully long time. Even longer than late December when I first talked to Tim about it. And I can't sacrifice that.

I think I might actually be more excited about visiting Port Huron on the weekends than the actual internship. That's because visiting people I love is fun. I love it. I look forward to it.
This internship is just scary. I'm so absolutely scared.
But...

It's just Trust, Trust, Trust, isn't it?


I will follow You to whatever end.


I must go. I have to pack.