This weekend, the Married Mr. Nick Wayne and I traversed to Kalamazoo for groomsman attire for the wedding. The weekend was full of all kinds of adventures, including not being able to find everything we need then finding it, searching for a top hat (unsuccessfully), a dream where I'm hanging out with Barack Obama, and a 'bachelor party' for an already married man. At said party, the infamous James Amos and I met (although he claims we've met before), and then played Halo for a long time. If you didn't already know, Halo is not my strong point. It happens to be Mr. Amos'. However, after several rounds, I began to give him a round for his money. He was scared.
On the way up, Nick and I were talking, and the topic of my obedience (or lack thereof) came up. Throughout my time ministering to youth and peers, I have come to almost excuse the outer behaviors while focusing on getting to the heart of the matter and changing that. Somehow, that had become an excuse for my disobedience. I would say, 'Well, the issue is something I need to change in my heart' and allow myself to do whatever I wanted. Nick told me about his own struggles and about his prayer where he told God, 'Completely change my heart in this matter.'
Somehow, I had skipped over that. The thought just never occurred to me to straightforwardly ask God to change my heart.
I over-complicate things far too often.
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